You really coming over, don't trick.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
