is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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