he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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