I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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