ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
