i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
