Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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