Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Can I color on your dick again?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
