If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
