? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
