32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
