can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
