I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
