Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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