He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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