having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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