is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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