Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize