What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
