I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
