hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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