Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
