i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Buhtt sex?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
