last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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