Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize