I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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