i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
