Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
