i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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