I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
