Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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