He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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