just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
