What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
