If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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