I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
