sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
