"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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