Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize