I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
