I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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