i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize