my sisters under your porch take her home
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
