is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize