I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She bit a glass in half.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
