i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
