I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
