Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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