you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
