You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize