its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
