If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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