sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
