u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need a beard to bite.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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