i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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