you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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