he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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