Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
