Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
