oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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