Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
