It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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