haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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