people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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