And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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