Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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