Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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