my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
