I smell stomach acid.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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