I swear she didn't look like that last week.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
