its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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