dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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