Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
