Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
