If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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