do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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